Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Driving Me Crazy


What Drives Me Crazy!

My friends(hopefully not in name only), say that am already crazy, but I contend that I am only at the precipice of "crazy". Yes I have, and continue to do some crazy things, like when a telemarketer calls, and he or she has an accent, different from mine, I do have a talent for impersonating their accent to the point that they don't want to continue the conversation; that's how I get rid of them, and it gives me some entertainment, as well. I also have been known to respond to a telemarketer with a language that no one can understand, yet actually seems like it is a legitimate language...a type of "tongues" that confuses the caller to the point that they are dying to end the conversation. It's fun for me, but drives my wife crazy. "Why don't you simply not answer or hang up on them?" she asks. I say,"Well, I would, but I just have SO much fun playing with them, that I can't resist sharing my insanity with them."

Oh well...I guess I could say telemarketers drive me crazy, but not anymore;I drive them crazy. A friend of mine loves it when they call him, for it gives him a opportunity to ask them if they know Jesus as their Savior, then he shares his story with them. He has had some interesting conversations, and some real conversions to Christ as a result. I think I will try this approach, too.

I have a picture of the infamous Mr. Magoo here because I think the one thing that still drives me crazy is stupid people who drive an automobile like a 5 year old in a bumper car. It drives me crazy when I go out in my car because most of the time, I feel that I am truly the only sane person on the road. People are driving(I use the term loosely) up and down the road like a bed of ants that someone has set fire to their mound.

I get so upset about it that it just makes me crazy, and what makes me crazier is that I refuse to get into a "road rage" confrontation with them, so I just sit in my car and quietly lose my mind. I used to rant and rave about it, and in years gone by, I too have been known to wave the fickled finger of fate at the morons who do all of the ridiculous things that they do, but one night many years ago, before I became a Christian, a man much crazier than me, shot out my back window with a .45, after I tried to show him that he was number one in my life with that one finger. This taught me that no matter how crazy I may be, that there is always someone out there completely insane, and not just a little crazy.

What Makes You Crazy?

I can go on and on about the crazy, "nonsensicle" things that others do, like the lovely ones who act like a big shot with their cell phones out in public, blurting out all of their business, including "airing" all of their dirty laundry, and sometimes "soap-opera" lifestyles, even trying to talk their trash, and drive a car, too...makes me crazy.

Please share some of your "crazy" stories with me, but please keep it clean. One more of mine is that of people who go out in public when they are half dead with a cold, or a cough, and they blow their germs all over everyone without a tissue or hanker-chief to cover the mouth...makes me crazy; especially when I am trying to eat.

So check this out...one night my wife and I are sitting in a restaurant at a booth, and there is this elderly man behind me with a bad cold; he let out this "ripping" sneeze right on the back of my head. I wanted to belt him...then he does it about three more times. I was just before turning around and asking him to please stop this hurricane of viral slobber, when he whispered in my ear,"I guess I could get up and move...heh heh heh" I wheeled around, and it was a co-worker of mine who had seen me sit down, and he had taken his water glass and every time he would fake a sneeze, he would throw a handful of water on my neck. Of course my ever-faithful wife kept silent and held a straight face while he had his fun...the joke was truly "on" me!

Is there a cure?

Maybe the insanity will never stop, but we have a choice how it affects us; I don't handle it well, admittedly, but I am thinking of a change. I would like to hear your stories first, though, and then after we have some fun, we can decide how we will learn to absorb the insanity of mankind. Please let me hear from you.